We won't sleep together?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
