I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
