someone owes me an orgasm
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i came on her dog
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can't just leave with hair like that
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
