I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
