when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
