so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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