Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
