He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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