why didn't you poke me back
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
