My brain says no but my pants say off.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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