I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
