guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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