Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
