Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
