dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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