My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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