I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
