Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
