my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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