Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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