Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
