where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
