K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
