He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
