remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
