About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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