We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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