Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
