I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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