It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
