the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
