You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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