Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
