I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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