school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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