we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
