i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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