So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
