i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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