But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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