gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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