Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
