i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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