Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
