His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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