last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
