I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
