4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
