I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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