I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
