I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
