Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
