I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
