10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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