Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
